The Lucky Sperm Club (Coming of Age/Rom Com)
GENRE: Coming of Age, Romantic Comedy
TONE: 500 Days of Summer and Trading Places
THEME: How does anyone find his/her humanity in a materialist world that has great socio-economic divides.
This script parodies our celebrity-centric culture and underlines the importance of finding one's humanity as a means for coming of age. The interracial romance at the heart of The Lucky Sperm Club isn't realized until the end of the story when the protagonist learns to live in the bigger world of mankind, not just in the wealthy, privileged world that he was born into.
LOGLINE: A wealthy college kid (22) gets kicked out of his prestigious family by his heartless father and launches the first successful celebrity sperm donor bank. With the help of his compassionate tutor and love interest, Josie (22), he transforms from being a spoiled kid into a man with integrity and humanity.
EDDIE WAINWRIGHT (22) is a rebel. In a family of lawyers and investment bankers, Eddie wants to be a major league pitcher. He has the talent, but his blue-blood father, EDDIE SENIOR (58) refuses to let him go to a state school to play sports. Instead, he’s required by his blue-blood family to attend the prestigious Ivy League school where all of his ancestors attended. He’s furious, but has no choice since he has no real money of his own.
In one of the opening scenes, Eddie’s own conception is played out in an animated “sperm party” romp and reveals that he might not actually be a biological member of this pretentious family. His aggressive “Eddie Sperm” swims like a world class athlete and moves ahead of the others in competition for the egg, while his alleged father’s scrawny, unmotivated sperm lays napping on the couch. Eddie reluctantly attends the family alma mater and acts out his anger and entitlement by partying up a storm, cheating on his girlfriend, and nearly failing all of his classes. This isn’t summer camp with books, he muses.
As a last ditch effort to pass his classes, he hires JOSIE EMERSON (22), a brilliant, African American woman as his tutor. Without her, he wouldn’t graduate or have anyone to haver heart-to-heart conversations with when things start to change for him. Instead paying her for tutoring him, Josie instructs him to donate large sums of his family’s money to her favorite charities.
Eddie falls in love with her, but she won’t consider him romantically because he’s too spoiled. She remains his best friend and confidante, though starts to develop feelings for him when he’s disinherited and his ‘real self’ must emerge.
After college, he’s expected to go to law school, so Josie recommends a brainy Indian guy to help tutor him for his LSATS. Eddie panics and hires the guy as his proxy instead. The day of the LSATs, they get busted for cheating. When his father finds out, he disowns him and cuts him off financially. Eddie gets kicked out of his family as he discovers that his family has its share of secrets. He soon learns some harsh truths about the world and the depth of his friendships. He realizes that Josie is his only real friend. A sub plot reveals Eddie’s mother, BIANCA’s infidelity, his father’s sexual disinterest (or confusion), which gives rise to the question of his true paternity.
To avoid jail, Eddie’s father arranges for him to get a hefty “community service” sentence instead. Eddie spends most of his time working (and often staying) at a homeless shelter. He makes friends and hatches an outrageous and ingenious plan to create the first celebrity sperm donor bank.
Utilizing his connections from his previous lifestyle and through some of his new friends’ connections, Eddie secures some sought-after celebrity sperm. However, he’s still having trouble turning this idea into a lucrative business, until Josie comes on board. She adds the necessary ‘heart’ to their efforts and creates a fundraising component. The Lucky Sperm Club launches as a “B corp” and launches into a successful business. But Josie has too much heart to just want to make money.
Eddie and Josie create a global fundraising event called, ‘Sperm-a-Palooza,’ which also has an entertainment component, a real-time webcast with a celebrity sperm auction and streaming music from concerts around the world. It’s a huge success, raises millions, and garners some pretty high-profile sperm for their freezer.
In the end, Eddie finally gets the girl. After they return from the event, she admits that she has already fallen in love with him. He kisses her. They make love… He’s elated; she’s ovulating. She dashes to the freezer and helps herself to some of the ‘samples’ from some of the great celebrity sperm that has been donated.
The final moments harken back to the earlier animation with a wild sperm party going on in Josie’s womb. This time, the Eddie sperm has some heavy-hitter celebrities to compete against as he pushes and shoves the others out of the way (accompanied by voice-overs or impersonations of the celebrities). It all comes down to him and Stevie Wonder in fierce competition for penetration of the egg. May the best man win!